Sex is often surrounded by silence, shame, and discomfort.

In many cultures and family systems, conversations about sex are avoided altogether, wrapped in layers of secrecy, stigma, or moral rigidity. For some, the silence is deafening; for others, the messages are loud but shaming. As therapists, we often witness the deep impact of these silences — how they manifest as confusion, disconnection, fear, or even pain in our clients’ relationships with themselves and others. Naming this silence is a powerful first step. When we bring sexuality into the therapy room with openness and care, we begin to dismantle the isolation many people feel and create space for healing, clarity, and connection.

Our early experiences, including parental messaging and cultural expectations, shape how we relate to sexuality.

Whether explicit or implicit, the messages we received growing up — about our bodies, desires, gender roles, and what is considered “normal” — shape the foundation of our sexual self-concept. For clients raised in communities where discussions of sex were taboo, or where identity and expression were policed, unlearning harmful narratives is a slow and courageous process. A culturally responsive lens invites us to explore how colonialism, religion, migration, gender socialization, racism, and intergenerational trauma intersect with sexual development. It also means honoring the wisdom and resilience people carry, especially those from marginalized communities who’ve had to navigate this terrain with little guidance or validation.

Talking about sex is a learned skill — and everyone is learning.

Just like emotional regulation or conflict resolution, sexual communication is a relational skill that requires practice, vulnerability, and safety. No one is born knowing how to talk about their needs, boundaries, or pleasure — especially not if those conversations were never modeled. As therapists, we normalize this learning curve. We encourage clients to see awkwardness not as a sign of failure, but as a signal of growth. And we validate that these conversations can look vastly different across cultural contexts. In our work, we aim to create a space where clients can practice finding their words — in whatever language, metaphor, or story helps them express the truths of their sexual selves.